i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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