He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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