she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
