Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
