i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
