if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
then he tried to convert me to islam
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The ass gains better be worth it
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