This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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