There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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