NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
