So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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