so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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