Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
