I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
