I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize