Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
