I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
