My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i've created a new STD.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
