my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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