Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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