i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
the raccoons are back...
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