i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
