Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
