Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
