I just threw up on my dentist
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It all started with a game of naked twister.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
