Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
