I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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