my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
