I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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