where does the pee come out of this thing
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
