HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
