omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
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well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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