You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
