We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
