Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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