Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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