Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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