I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
