Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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