We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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