new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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