toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you had me at cake vodka
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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