My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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