Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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