I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize