I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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