I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
