Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
