I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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