Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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