your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
