its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
