WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
