The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
