When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
