I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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