Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
