I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
