I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
