turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
